She smile in the rain…

Sometimes I feel very strange coz everytime the rain is falls,I will feel happy..i will go outside to see that..so calm and refreshing time..mybe I’m alone to feel this..but something miracle happen to me lately..it’s start with one rainy evening..i meet someone that really understand me..even for several hour..it at 29 Mac 2011 at 12.00 PM..at that time,I was on evening shift..so many patient telah dihantar ke OT..then someone ask me to go with her..she is someone that really impress me in short time..so, I go to Ot with her..then,it goes a heavy rain..i can see it clearly from a glass window..then I see she suddenly smile..and I ask her.. “why happen,why do u smile..?”then she say “I like to see a rain,it is nice” I was shocked..that answer…!!is same like someone important say to me..then,I go near her,she smile at me..she have a brighter eyes and charming smile..we see the rain together..it was very precious moment..like all my  memory with my ex is revived..it make my heart moving so fast..then,we send the patient..on the way return to ward..i request her something..”why not we hang up somewhere to see a rain,no work at ward either..”then she said “orite,my pleasure..”we spent time together about one hour..she told me everything about her life..i think,I like her,,,huhu.. I want know more about her..why I feel so comfortable around her..and I feel like she was too amazing..she get my attention.. it’s about time to return..then i ask her again..”do u free on weekend,if u do,contact me ok..”she replied “ I’m not sure,but if I’m free,I will go for u..”her smile make me so crazy…hope we will meet again..thanks fot that moment..i wish to see the rain agin with u…

The truth is I’m hurt too..

Sorry for all the things that I did to u…coz I never realise that u in hurt..u always say that u are tough,but in fact u are fragile..why do u like me..i not understand that..what have I done to u..?? why u suddenly want to be with me badly..??we don’t know each other before…I don’t want u hurt anymore..i don’t want u cry anymore..please stop it..i’m hurt too..i hate this..u are so innoncent..caring and loving..mybe I’m not decided for u..so please don’t put an effort on me..run from me far away..or u will get hurt more..

Sorry for the time that I leave u alone..i don’t know what to say..when u cry,u always want me to be with u..u call me..and I try to make u comfort..i say that I will be with u,but in fact it juz a liar..i lie to u..i want u to stop crying..i have make so many gurl crying before…I repel that..i regret that..u must hate me as soon as possible.. must,,,!!or u will die…one drop of u tear can make me suffer..keep it with u..i not always can be on ur side..i’m not yours..

I think this a a time for me to go away..i want to end everything..for all the thing that I have done..good thing more than bad thing mybe…and all mistake that never forgiven..i very regret and I can feel the painful too..i want cry with my friend..but seem they just want share happiness more than sadness,so I will cry alone..i will die alone..sorry,I want to forget all about us..when we have all great time together,,running,walking,talking,sleeping,eating and all..i want to disappear…

Apa yang kita rasa..yang kita alami..semoga cepat hilang…bila hari esok datang..pergilah mencari arah hidup yang baru..dont like me..dont love me..dont even try to be near me..i want be like cactus..u will suffer from me..if u get me??u get nothing coz I don’t have something that u call LOVE.. Jangan menangis  lagi..dont remember my name..forget me… goodbye…mybe this is my last post..i don’t want to hurt anyone again…

The truth is,in my heart,there was someone that I miss so much…she is the one that I want..i try to forget but look like it not easy…if u read this,I want to tell u that I still remember u..everynite..everyday..i still keep u msg..from the first time we couple…until we clash.. sometimes I look at my handphone..i hope I have your num..i hope magical will happen and someday u will realize that..i don’t want u to clash with your boyfriend,just to makesure that u happy..i miss u voice,,,very badly..save me from this suffering…I wish to see u again soon….

 –SELAMAT TINGGAL-

Snap N Steady…!!

I spent my holiday with fully enjoy moment..i rare have time for blodding..sorry that..this ismy pics..hopes u will like it..  

\In the dark night,ther wes a little kind of light…

With my friend..crazy + happy + unbelievable……

Pantai paling cantik di dunia…haha

Tu jer…no snap for a moment…2011..

My nakama...

For 2 year I have been here,a lot of friend I have meet..and lot fo problem I have been through..but I just do it alone..so,my point is,are friend really important..?? or just for having fun..i think I can carry myself alone and higher.. But when it goes to karaoke,better with friend..haha.. Sweet memories share together..bad memories keep it alone..this is my pics with my friend..thank u so much for being my friend..2009 to 2010..in memory..

Ni jer yg ada ramai-ramai…nak letak byk wat penuh blog jer..haha

One more time,One more chance..

One more time,One more chance..

For the sake of my promise..i still waiting for you..If I lose any more than this, will my heart be forgiven..How much pain before I can see you again,..One more time, please don't change the season..One more time to the time when we fool around ..When our path cross each other, I am always the first to turn, Making me indulge more in my selfish way, One more chance tripped by memories,

One more chance we cannot choose our next place..I am always searching somewhere for you..Opposite of the house, the other side of the alley's window..Even though I know you won't be here..If my wish is to be granted, please bring me to you right now..Betting and embracing everything..To show you there's nothing else I can do..Anybody should be fine if it was just to ease loneliness..Because the stars in the night sky seems like falling, I cant lie to myself..

One more time, please dont' change the season..One more time to the time when we fool around..I am always searching somewhere for you..Even at the intersection and dream..Even though I know you won't be here..If miracle was to happen, I want to show it to you right now..A new morning, myself and the "I love you" which I couldn't say..

Surat Cinta untuk Pengarah..

One week later,I was practical at Klinik Bakar Bata..at unit sekolah.. I have conquer about 9 school in one week..haha.. From tadika to sekolah menengah..they all have be given vaccine like ATT to avoid kamcing gigi and HPV to prevent cancer servic..this is very interesting..some of them are crying and some of them try to act cool..in fact when injection was given,I can see they are scare.. more interesting,we telah diberi makanan percuma..ada sekolah yg agak baik,sedia makanan..tenkiu bgt deh…leh dah jimat duit.. bukan meminta sgt pun tapi lau ada lagi bagus..hehe.. but that not what I want tell here.. I go practical with my partner..one day,he bangu lewat..i rush to her room and he still sleeping..so I kick his body laju-laju until he wake up..after that,it’s 8.04 am..and that mean we are late for 4 minutes.. suddenly, a lecrer see us!! We are kantoi sudah..huhu.. Padahal mmg kat praktikal mula ko 8.30 tapi nak wat camne..dah lecrer cakap salah..pastu kami dibawa mengadap bilik pengarah..after we have given fucking brainwash we are release kot..beberapa hari kemudian,pengarah panggil..he said mybe we will digantung sem coz late..wtf..!!!!late for 4 minutes..??and he say mybe they will held a meeting and discuss this later,,so,he want a surat penjelasan why we came late..haha.. I don’t know what to do..and I try to be honest..i wrote this..

Punca utama kelewatan saya ialah kegagalan kawan saya untuk bangun awal pada pagi itu. Ini menyebabkan klinikal saya terganggu kerana kami di tempatkan bersama. Jadi saya harus ambil tahu jika dia lewat. Jadi saya pergi ke biliknya dan mendapati dia tengah tido. Saya mengambil keputusan untuk mengejutkannya. Saya bersalah kerana telah menunggu dia bersiap sedangkan saya boleh pergi tinggalkan dia, hal ini telah menjurus kearah kelewatan saya. Saya berjanji kalau kawan saya lewat,saya akan biarkan saja..

Haha…xtawlah diterima ke x alasan yang jujur ni..friend always with friend..

Bila..bukan untuk diriku...

BILA KAMU BUKAN  UNTUKKU…

Bila esok tiada,semoga hari ini tetap dlm ingatan…bila aku x mampu beri semua yg kamu mahukan, aggap saja aku x berdaya…mungkin suatu masa kamu sedar,aku bkn hadir untuk penuhi kemahuanmu, tapi untuk mnemani harimu..hari yang kita lalui x begitu indah sejak kita mula knal..tapi aku x pnah harap lebih pada hubungan ini..dan kamu masih cuba melakar senyum palsu tanpa kamu sedar aku hampir terluka..hati ini seakan tercipta untuk kamu..setiap hari aku berharap kamu akan hadir.. jauh dari sudut hati,aku terfikir apa yg kamu fikirkan…cuba untuk memahami kamu..

BEGITU SUKAR UNTUK AKU TERSENYUM…

Fahamilah aku bkn malaikat yang dpt menduga hatimu..juga bkn org yang mampu meredupkan kesedihan kamu..berikan aku sedikit ruang, masa, segalanya agar dapat aku menilai diri kamu..sebelum jauh aku serahkan cinta,perlu untuk aku tahu.. seberapa lama harus aku fahami.. jika kamu masih berdiam,,mungkin aku akan mula letih..dan mula menjauh dari kamu.. sempadan harapan xkan mampu menahan rasa putus asa..bila semua ini telah berlalu,maafkan aku.. mungkin aku bkn yang pertama bg kamu,tapi aku mahu jadi yang terakhir buat kamu..

AKU HANYA MAHU KAMU TAHU…

Berikan aku satu kepastian..itu yang aku tunggu..bukan sekadar tafsiran sendiri,, andai kamu sudah berpaling dari aku,pergilah sebalum aku menemuimu lagi..akan aku padamkan semua kenangan yang kita cipta dulu..tiada satu pun darinya pernah terlakar kau milik ku.. perkenalan yang kita lalui hanya satu kesilapan.. carilah hidup yang lebih sempurna…jujurlah padaku bila kamu ada yang lain..cubalah lari dari hidupku sepantas mungkin.. sebelum terlewat,sebelum melewati dasar hatiku,berhentilah dari memberi harapan..jikalau telah datang saat ku pergi,semoga kamu tetap jalani hidup… aku x tahu apa yang kamu mahukan.. hanya satu permintaanku, terimalah saja diriku seadanya…ini saja yang membuat hidup aku lebih beerti….

MUNGKIN INI JALAN TERBAIK BUAT KITA….

Never Like Before..

When I first talked to u.i didn’t know what to say,but the more we talked, the more my heart gave away..But now when I think of u,and how u changed my life..i have imagine that I won’t be alone coz he there for me..a day without light will never happen..u light up my day,as if u were the sun..u are brighter that anything..u are that sense of completion when my life is difficult.. u are my strength and wisdom..and the keeper of my heart..whose grip never weakens even we are apart..

i think of u all day and dream of u all night..then every night I wish that u could hold me tight.. u are always on my mind no matter what time of day..even when I shouldn’t,I think about u anyway.. and when I think of u this much,this day seems so long..and all the time we spent apart,just seems so wrong..u are my special gift sent up above..sent me from heaven..sent for me to love.. Thanxs for u smile..and u light that fills my dreams..u always make it brighter..no matter how dark it seems..

when the last time I talked to u..u never see my face..u not talking to me..but I can see your tears..i can see your sadness..at that time,I hold your hand..to make u comfort..but it look just an acting coz there were someone behind u..behind all of this,u deceive me for many time..i afraid to know it..

This what i feel most right now..life is not easy like fantasy..what about u??

Hopes n Light..

A new year clock sound so good..like a wind that flow all ours sins..in dat case, nothing can turn back..wishing to start a new life with a new vision..thank you for god..for make me still alive.. for make me a life person,so that i can see all my friend..my parent and still can be a good person.. mybe one day,i should write all my friends name,so that i can remember them.. Don’t worry,all ours memory from primary to high school will stay forever in my heart and mind even we fall at different path now....i believe that we are born to be together... just sometimes we dont realise that we need it.. and sometimes it’s too late to realise that..i can hear your voice..i can image your face...clearly,so bright like a snow..

A new year clock was starting.. i cant waste my time anymore...so long i have sleep.. nothing can help me except myself..i hope can life for more year.. to c all my friend succes..to hold a responsibility as a parent... to make my dream came true..as a wish since i kid.. as a promise to my lovely parent that i was a good guy.. then i try my best in every single part to make the impact that can shine all the road that i taken...not just a nonsense dream,but a promise... i can’t give up anymore.. i must shine in short time and show all my will of heart.. every second flow so fast..i can’t miss them even for a while.. just keep running until i tired... and when that thing happen,i will never give up....!!

A new year clock almost over....i hope it will not happen.. let this year never end,so that i can find more about myself..i’m not ready to be adult..make me teenager forever..i want share my memory with all my friend.. even i try to stop the time,mybe it just don’t work like i want.. at that time,i feel lucky because have given a chance to life..at the end,nothing is precious than a memory that we have even it go wrong sometimes...let it go and free yourself...i don’t expect much in my life,but since i’m here,lets keep it rock....love u all....... (^.^)

For a year I have been locked in my own darkness..from that situation that u leave to me..from that I learn to be right now…in my dream,I still longing for someone like u..mybe just like u to save my life.. I wonder who is that person.. but i dont say that i need u again...someon will replaced u and i looking forward for that dear.. 1000 years she will be better than u...dont ever turn back on me..

Surprise..!!

HAPPY BESDAY  …..!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bersyukur pada ALLAH coz still give a chance for my grand father to alive n kicking.. ni masa celebrate besday atuk kat  past year..lau x silap hari sabtu r..rmai family n cousin n uncle n auntie n nephew…sape-sape jelah yg bkenaan mai..x syre besday yg ke berapa tp mybe around 70 lbh kot..but still strong.. My mum and auntie prepare a “SURPRISE,,!!” party  for him.. It start from that morning…my autie with my sister go out for buy some item…they go to Giant at Kijal… before that, she went to TATI coz her son studied there and it’s holiday…so they shopping at market…. I just sitting at home with my mother.. This juz like a big mission…haha… I was assign in Team B and they was Team A..so, Team B prepare a barang like periuk..n alatan memasak yg x diketahui…  Team A having with problem coz masa nak cari barang,they terserempak with my grandfather…they keep running.. Lastly,they are safe..mission not kantoi yet..

Dlm ko 2 ptg…Misi dijalankan with carefull… There are a lot of food n kuih-muih we made,,,such as  tat telur,agar-agar,n pudding..very delicious…in a blink of eyes,I sempat rembat tat telur without terkantoi…haha…my favourite..then,all my keturunan came..ada yg dekat,jauh,kecik n besar…semua ade..to fill in the blank kot…hehe…so,we prepare a table n make some decoration.. I go to town to buy a balloon..and some present…it’s juz a Cadbury Chocolate…no need for grant present lor.. Team Kids ditubuhkan for blow a balloon..they run a mission with enjoy…mybe after kne marah coz too many balloon yg pecah..haha.. Lastly,waiting for my Grandfather to come….along with her wife.. around 5 pm..we all wait…then,he comes with white painted Kancil.. when he walk to us..we all juz shout

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY…………………!!!!”

He juz numb and smile,terkasima 

sebentar kot…

My atuk n wife…both potong kek…yg kat blakang tu pelakon tambahan jer…sekadar hiasan….hehe

My keturunan..ramai tol kan…baru r meriah…

Side of me..

Today is 1 st january in 2011..forgaet all the past and start a new..so,I want to share some of my favourite pics…it’s all about me now..for future I will write more..Memory of 2010....hehe..

it's been a while when i start to blogging..for the beginner like me,it was hard but...i made it..i read a novel to make up my literature and this what i get...

I just a normal person..but in my life,i like to to everything...even it over my limit..my friend owez say that sometimes i will be unrealistic person coz want do anything not logic...but as long as my mind still working,i will be like this..

thanxs to my fellow frends taht owez support me..syg kamu bgt deh... for all memory we have create,dont evevr forget...banyak kwn yg kite knal..thanxs for ALLAh coz still make me alive today...2010 not so easy to thru without Keredhaan-Mu..

Bila hati dah tenang,mse tulah kita akan rasa hepy sgt2..and that time kite taw yg kite still ade mase tuk brubah..for family..for future..for friend..pade semua yg msih mgharap...yg sudi baca blog ni... u make me feel heppy...i'm lucky!!

WELCOME 2011,,HOPE I WLILL BRING HAPPINES IN WHO IS BELIEVE ME..